Z7.6 - Agitated
by ZachsMind
Summary: The First Slayer takes control of Buffy and digs up Tara's grave. Faith makes a dangerous decision. Spike gets his butt kicked again.


Agitated, a Buffy fanfic told in a Teaser & four acts. By Zach Garland  
  
[As of June 10th, 2002 the fan fiction I've posted to fanfiction.net should be read in the following order:  
  
"House of Mirrors" midseason six, somewhere between "Tabula Rasa" and "Hell's Bells."  
  
"You Slay Me" faux season 7 episode 1 (relatively soon after real season 6 episode 22 "Grave")  
  
"As You Know It" faux season 7 episode 2  
  
"Unrest" faux season 7 episode 3 (with shades of sequel to real season 4 episode 22 "Restless")  
  
"Kulmari" faux season 7 episode 4  
  
"All the King's Horses" faux season 7 episode 5  
  
"Agitated" faux season 7 episode 6  
  
This piece is rated PG but there's really nothing in it that couldn't be pulled off in prime time tv. This is a rough draft. If you have any questions or comments feel free to write to zachsmind@yahoo.com. The basic gist of the plot is that Faith's vengeance wish causes an upset with The First Slayer, risking the end of the Slayer line.]  
  
TEASER  
  
Scene: Watcher's Council HQ Interior. It looks like a backroom of some sort, with an exit out to what appears to be a garage. Warrick is standing there with a gentleman who appears to be a chauffeur or a valet or something like that. A peon. Warrick's reaching into his pocket for his car keys. Standing next to him is a wide eyed and zombie-like Faith. She's not even in handcuffs.  
  
WARRICK: (to the peon) Go get my car, eh mate?  
  
The peon complies, taking the keys dutifully, but we should be able to sense that this valet gent has a silent disdain for Warrick.  
  
WARRICK: (acidly) Thanks.  
  
The peon exits, as he does so, we see Quentin in a longcoat entering the room. He looks Faith up and down.  
  
QUENTIN: Travelling a bit light, eh Warrick?  
  
WARRICK: 'Ello, Quentin. What you mean?  
  
QUENTIN: Shouldn't a Slayer that we have slated to be executed be in some sort of locks and chains?  
  
WARRICK: Believe me, the spell's taken the part of her that causes all our problems out of the picture. Her heart hasn't stopped beating, but it might as well have.  
  
QUENTIN: What you mean?  
  
WARRICK: Nothin'. The less you know the better.  
  
QUENTIN: The spell killed her?  
  
WARRICK: Hey keep your voice down! It's bad enough you know I have some connections with the dark ones. You ever tell anybody I'll give you a permanent retirement, you got me?  
  
QUENTIN: You think you're the only one with secrets? You've got a lot to learn, Warrick.  
  
WARRICK: (deliberately changing the subject) What's with the overcoat, 'boss'? Going for a stroll?  
  
QUENTIN: I'm going with you.  
  
WARRICK: The hell you are. Where I'm taking her I don't want you or anyone to know.  
  
QUENTIN: Not acceptable.  
  
WARRICK: I have to get her to a certain location where I have a special pentagram set up. What I did back there to make her more agreeable was a rash move. Effective, but not permanent. I have to finalize it or else we WILL need handcuffs.  
  
QUENTIN: And an army.  
  
WARRICK: More of your ninja wannabes? You saw what she did.  
  
QUENTIN: (sighing. Nodding.) She went through twenty of our best operatives like they were fighting dummies.  
  
WARRICK: They were dummies. They let her win.  
  
The car pulls up. Warrick takes this opportunity to move away from him and get ready to put her in the car.  
  
QUENTIN: You're not even telling me where you're going.  
  
WARRICK: Don't worry, when she's ready you can have her all to yourself.  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: EXT: Somewhere outside the CoW HQ. Near where we left Faith & Anya last episode. This is actually just a repeat of the last moment of their previous scene.  
  
ANYA: So you want your body and your soul together but not under the control of Warrick or the Watcher's Council so their plans are ruined, and you want to be dead and then alive again so the next Slayer will be called. Is that right?  
  
FAITH: Right. But wait there's ands in there. Can I use ands?  
  
ANYA: Sure.  
  
FAITH: Isn't that like multiple wishes?  
  
ANYA: (confiding ancient Chinese secret) It's a loophole. Shh. Don't tell anyone.  
  
FAITH: Okay. Here goes. I wish to have my body and soul back together and under my control no longer under the control of Warrick or the Watcher's Council ever again cuz they suck AND I want to be dead briefly and back to life again so that the next Slayer is called-  
  
ANYA: D-  
  
FAITH: (realization) AND I want to control who the next Slayer's gonna be-  
  
ANYA: (impressed and a little surprised) Woah!  
  
FAITH: --cuz that'll further ruin any chance of them getting their plans back on track-  
  
ANYA: (to herself) Can I do that?  
  
FAITH: --AND I want a lifetime supply of chocolate cheesecake you know the kind with real good tasting cherry sauce stuff poured over it so sweet so whenever I want a chocolate cheesecake it just magically appears before me on a plate and fork cuz I just love chocolate cheesecake.  
  
ANYA: (pointedly. Negotiating) No chocolate cheesecake.  
  
FAITH: (disappointed) Oh okay.  
  
ANYA: but to all the rest of it?  
  
FAITH: Yeah?  
  
Close up of Anyanka, who's proud of herself for having made such a friend of Faith. All smiles. Her face turns from normal human Anya to demony Anya.  
  
ANYA: DONE!  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: We're back with Warrick & Quentin at the Watcher's Council HQ. The peon gives Warrick his car keys, then opens the passenger side door. Warrick goes to put Faith in the car, but the zombie Faith suddenly slumps to the floor. Warrick tries to catch her as she falls, and failing that, kneels down to check her. Quentin rushes around to help.  
  
WARRICK: This isn't supposed to happen!  
  
Close up on Quentin as he approaches Faith's body.  
  
QUENTIN: This is normally what happens when you mess with the powers of magic.  
  
WOLF HOWLS. OPEN CREDITS.  
  
ACT I  
  
Scene: A golf course. Close up of a golf ball sitting idly on a nondescript green. In view is a golf cart, which is driving into view. D'Hoffryn exits the golf cart and walks up to the ball with a wooden club. Driving his cart is a tall, well-dressed caddy of a demon, who looks similar to Lorne, the green-skinned, horny 'host' demon from the tv series Angel. It's not the same guy, necessarily, but he could be Lorne's twin. D'Hoffryn refers to him only as Caddy, but their mutual demeanor seems more like one of equals. A friend, if not a peer. They have mutual respect and appreciation for one another.  
  
D'Hoffryn sets himself near the ball and begins practicing his swing. He's almost smiling. He's truly enjoying this game. His Caddy stands dutifully between him and the golf cart, in safe distance from the ball.  
  
D'HOFFRYN: There are so many things that humans have given to the Universe. The works of Shakespeare. Countless battle strategies from simply phenomenal wars. And this! Golf! It's so droll and simplistic on the surface. Yet with a single swing of this implement one sends a small round object off into the myriad streams of physical, quantum, and even supernatural laws. Probability. Uncertainty. I control as much of the force as I can, but once I send my small spherical servitor into the atmosphere, anything can happen. Hah!  
  
D'Hoffryn takes the swing. The golf ball makes a splendid arc and lands neatly near a flagged putting hole.  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Humans! They never cease to fascinate me.  
  
CADDY: Shall we take the cart the rest of the way?  
  
D'Hoffryn takes his golf club and holds it like a cane. He's smiling.  
  
D'HOFFYN: It's a lovely day! Let's walk!  
  
They do. Caddy walks in step beside D'Hoffryn. They speak as they stride along the green towards the flag.  
  
CADDY: The prophecies? Is this why we're here? Are you settling nerves?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Oh you know me better than that, old friend. Am I concerned with the prophecies? Hell! I had a hand in writing some of them. No on the contrary, everything's going according to plan. As I said, you launch your agents out into the ether, and if you're really lucky, occasionally you strike a hole in one!  
  
CADDY: What will you do once the choice is made? Once the next to last slayer announces her decision?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: I bring what has always belonged to our kind back to its home.  
  
CADDY: A hole in one?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Precisely!  
  
CADDY: You're not concerned about breaking the spell?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: I'm counting on the spell to be broken.  
  
CADDY: But this has never been done before. We do not know. What will happen to the rogue Slayer? The one who despite all efforts has died twice and still keeps kicking. The one we've never been able to control?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: That's not relevant dear friend. The end of the Slayer line. That is what is paramount. The rogue slayer may lose her powers. She may become more powerful. Either way she will eventually be dispatched permanently. Then we'll control the soul of The First Slayer and we'll end the line once and for all.  
  
CADDY: The prophecies predicted this day will come.  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Yeah that's the part I had a hand in writing.  
  
They smile at each other. They reach the putt. D'Hoffryn sets his golf club down and prepares to putt.  
  
CADDY: Uh, boss?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Yeah?  
  
CADDY: You need a putter. That's a wood.  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Where's the putter?  
  
CADDY: Back at the cart.  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Aw, man!  
  
Scene: We're back with Warrick & Quentin at the Watcher's Council HQ. Camera shows Faith slumped against the open car door. She appears unconscious or maybe even dead. Warrick is checking for breath and a pulse. Quentin enters from offcamera and kneels down trying to learn for himself what's going on.  
  
WARRICK: (still checking for lifesigns) No you don't understand, this is not a fluke because I didn't do my homework. Oh my God she's got no pulse. She's not breathing!  
  
QUENTIN: Well isn't this what we wanted?  
  
WARRICK: Yes but we wanted it under controlled conditions! So we could observe and learn how to safely repeat the process.  
  
QUENTIN: To be honest, Warrick, doctors revive people all the time. I think we can master that with the next Slayer.  
  
Warrick pulls away from the fallen body of Faith and grabs Quentin by the scruff of the neck. Camera immediately cuts to focus on profiles of the two men facing each other practically nose to nose. Quentin is quiet but not intimidated by Warrick's rash and more impulsive behavior.  
  
WARRICK: But if mistakes were going to be made I'd rather we make them with this lost cause than a potential ally! You're trying my patience, old man.  
  
Quentin looks down and reacts. It's important the actor doesn't blink in this shot. Though we don't see it, he witnesses Faith's body literally disappear before his eyes.  
  
QUENTIN: Get off me! Let me go!  
  
Quentin pushes Warrick away and reaches out for where Faith was.  
  
Camera pulls back to show the two of them alone by the car. Quentin is, for him, freaking out. He's in some mild form of shock. Trying to comprehend what he just saw.  
  
WARRICK: What the hell?  
  
QUENTIN: If this is your doing, Warrick I'll have your hide!  
  
WARRICK: Where'd she go?  
  
QUENTIN: You bloody bastard while you were failing to intimidate me I was staring RIGHT AT HER. She disappeared in less than a blink. And I didn't blink! I wasn't blinking. It's like she ceased to exist.  
  
WARRICK: How is that possible?  
  
QUENTIN: Warrick if you know as much about magic as you claim you of all people should know how easy it is for magic users to cause things to disappear, or be transported!  
  
WARRICK: This is not my fault!  
  
Quentin turns around and decks Warrick solid on the face, causing Warrick to fall back and land on the pavement. Quentin stands up and dramatically poses over the exasperated Warrick.  
  
QUENTIN: See that it isn't.  
  
Quentin walks away.  
  
WARRICK: You're just gonna walk away? What do we do?  
  
QUENTIN: (turns around) WE? You do nothing. You failed, Warrick. Once you pulled a rabbit out of your bloody hat, you were only safe so long as you had Faith in your grubby little hands.  
  
WARRICK: I'll find her!  
  
QUENTIN: I will find her. You will do nothing. I am reporting your use of dark magic to the Council. If I don't see your resignation on my desk within the hour, I will get them to sign documents demanding your termination. I will have you forcibly removed from these premises, and you will be lucky if I don't order a bounty on your worthless head!  
  
As he speaks the last part, the ground starts to rumble and move. They both react to this. Debris begins to fall around them. We see Warrick begin to panick. Then camera cuts briefly to Quentin, who rolls his eyes, sighs, and does what any true Watcher would instinctively do.  
  
QUENTIN: Now I have to SAVE your worthless head!  
  
He grabs Warrick by the arm and drags him to safety, away and off camera, out of our view.  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: Various. We are witnessing the destruction of the CoW HQ. The destruction is visibly impressive and emotionally vivid. We hear people screaming. The building begins to collapse. It's a massive earthquake localized under the foundation of the Watcher's Council HQ. Various shots of carnage and people in suits running for their lives.  
  
Camera then cuts to show a woman in a conservative outfit directing a couple dozen fifteen year old girls through what appears to be a cross between martial arts and aerobics. The room they are in is large and designed for heavy, rugged physical activity. There are no windows. Other physical indications if possible should indicate to us this is UNDER the CoW HQ. It's part of a private installation.  
  
Then the room begins to shake. Alarms sound off. The women do not panic. They are trained Slayers In Training. The female Watcher motions them towards her and having their attention, she directs them off camera.  
  
FEMALE WATCHER: Emergency evacuation! Take to the lifts! Go to the hall! Single file!  
  
Most of the women do as directed. A small, mousy looking redhead however stops in her tracks and looks back at the Female Watcher. This is KELLEY KEEGAN.  
  
KELLEY: Are ye daft? The lifts will fail!  
  
FEMALE WATCHER: Then take the stairs! Quick! Move!  
  
KELLEY: The buildin' above is gonna fall on our 'eads! It's called physics, lass. Look into it!  
  
FEMALE WATCHER: (grabs her roughly) You will MIND ME!  
  
Kelley instinctively rears back a fist to punch the female watcher in the face, but just then a bunch of debris falls into view and knocks them both off their feet.  
  
When the smoke clears, with the room still falling apart around her, Kelley Keely stands back up, dusts herself off amidst the turmoil swirling around her. She looks down.  
  
Camera shows the female watcher dead and trapped beneath the rubble.  
  
KELLEY: No!  
  
Kelley grabs a large chunk of concrete from over the watcher, lifts it over her head and throws it out of the way. She kneels down before the watcher and checks for life signs. She's noticeably upset, but then sucks it up.  
  
KELLEY: Serves ya right. I woulda kicked yer ass anyway an' then ya'd WISH ya was dead.  
  
Things are getting worse around her. She runs off after the other Slayers- In-Training.  
  
Camera follows her out into what's left of the hall. As she runs, we see other Slayers-In-Training have been hit by debris and are bleeding. Dead or dying. The elevators are obviously not working. We see at least one pair of double doors half open with flames coming out of them.  
  
Kelley gets to the end of the hall where some girls are filing into the stairwell. As she approaches, smoke, ash and debris flies out of the stairwell doorway, killing anyone who was inside and knocking off their feet the half dozen or so Slayers-In-Training who had still be on their feet. The stragglers were trying to get into the stairs, but were beat out by their faster peers, who are now no more.  
  
Kelley fights back the tears, and grabs the nearest still living body she can; another girl her age that appears to be Hispanic. She helps her to her feet.  
  
KELLEY: Gabe! You alright?  
  
GABRIEL: Mi nombre es Gabriel [pronounced gah-bree-EL] y si!  
  
KELLEY: Speak bleeding English, ya twit!  
  
GABRIEL: You racist pig! (she punches Kelley)  
  
Kelley punches Gabriel back. They tussle with the world falling apart around them. It's impressive. It's scary. It's indicative of the utter lack of success the Watcher's Council has had, that so quickly their 'behavior modifications' on these young women should dissipate. Fire worsens around them. It looks like a pit of hell. They fight to a standstill. They both pull away and face off. Taking a mutual breather.  
  
KELLEY: (to Gabriel) I HATE YOU!  
  
GABRIEL: I HATE YOU MORE!  
  
FAITH: (voice off camera) Hey.  
  
Kelley and Gabriel turn to look off camera at where they both heard the voice.  
  
Camera switches to show Anya & Faith. Behind them is an air conditioning shaft. Both of them are wearing black leather jackets & dark jeans. Faith's never looked better. Anya is doing the peer pressure chameleon thing with Faith. She seems to be enjoying herself.  
  
KELLEY: What in blazes are you?  
  
GABRIEL: Shut up estupido! Es Faith! Faith how did you escape?  
  
FAITH: No pueden guardar a una mala muchacha abajo.  
  
Gabriel rushes over and gives Faith a big hug. Kelley stands there looking miffed.  
  
GABRIEL: This a way out?  
  
ANYA: You catch on fast! Here, let me give you a hand.  
  
GABRIEL: Gracias! You very sweet lady!  
  
ANYA: Well gee! Thank you!  
  
Anya & Gabriel escape off camera together. Faith offers Kelley a hand.  
  
FAITH: You wanna die or you wanna live?  
  
KELLEY: You be Faith!? Yeah, I heard of ya! Y'killed your own Watcher! (motions to the bodies on the floor about her) Y'kill yer own kind! Y'expect me to trust ye?  
  
Camera shows Faith with the exit to safety directly behind her. She reacts coolly to Kelley leaving her hand hanging there. Smiling, Faith makes a 'forget you' wave at Kelley and turns to go.  
  
Camera cuts back to Kelley. Where Kelley is standing quickly becomes a place where it's a pretty bad thing Kelley is standing there. She's hit by debris and falls to the ground.  
  
Camera shows Kelley on the ground, unconscious but still breathing.  
  
The rubble and shaking becomes more intense. The fire spreads until it overcomes the camera lens. Screams that were in the background increase and intensify, until they mold into the sound of Buffy screaming from the end of the last episode.  
  
Fast dissolve from the flames to the last shot from the last episode. A close up of Buffy screaming with her eyes staring right at the camera.  
  
BUFFY: FAITH I AM GONNA KILL YOU!  
  
END SCENE. COMMERCIAL BREAK.  
  
ACT II  
  
Scene: We're in Buffy's kitchen. Buffy's on the floor being held down fast by Xander at her head, Dawn & Tara-In-Willow's-Body holding down her legs, and Giles somewhere in between. They're fighting with everything they got but four normal sized humans against one out of control Slayer?  
  
WILLOW: Dawn! Put your weight on her legs! She's gonna break free!  
  
They continue struggling. Buffy's repeatedly doing primal screams.  
  
DAWN: I'm trying!  
  
GILES: NO! In her seizure she may break bones.  
  
XANDER: Her bones or ours?  
  
DAWN: I barely weigh a hundred pounds! Buffy can pick me up with one hand when she wants to!  
  
Buffy bucks back and hits the back of her head against Xander's rib cage. Xander makes a face like the wind just got knocked out of him.  
  
XANDER: I can't hold on!  
  
GILES: Xander, you must!  
  
XANDER: (redoubles his efforts) I-I think she just broke a rib!  
  
BUFFY: (at first she's screaming this) Sigseg! Sigseg! Meyhen ghaulai cughryghe! Mehyen bayne! Mehyen bayne! Hul mehyen nigbal! [Subtext: "Silence! Silence! My vampire Slayer! My vessel! My vessel! Destroy my enemy bitchcat!]  
  
GILES: Oh bloody hell!  
  
XANDER: What the- What is she saying?  
  
GILES: Tara! Can you do a binding spell?  
  
WILLOW: You're kidding me, right?  
  
GILES: Tara please can you or not?  
  
WILLOW: I need time to prepare!  
  
GILES: We don't have time!  
  
Giles is right. Buffy crudely kicks Dawn off her legs, and Dawn unceremoniously collides into Tara-In-Willow's-Body. She then quickly dispatches Xander & Giles enough to break free of them all. She gets to her feet, kicks open the kitchen door, as it's her closest noticeable exit.  
  
Then she stops. Everyone else is on the floor, a bit paralyzed with uncertainty how to act next. Buffy sniffs at the air like a werewolf. She turns immediately and looks down at Tara-In-Willow.  
  
BUFFY: Koogooadda!  
  
XANDER: (tho in pain, he's still got a snippy comment left in him) Is that baby talk?  
  
BUFFY: (to Xander) Sigseg, Shulshag! (back to Tara-In-Willow) Lilsaziuga! Koogooadda!  
  
GILES: Ah! Uhm.. Ghaulae Cughryghe!  
  
BUFFY: (to Giles) Shytah Eezdah!  
  
GILES: (despite his pain he gets to his feet) Hey! That was uncalled for!  
  
XANDER: What's she saying?!  
  
GILES: (incensed & betrayed) She just called me a false prophet! That's way out of line, missy!  
  
Buffy punches Giles in the face. He falls back down. Xander & Dawn rush to his aid.  
  
Buffy grabs Tara-In-Willow and throws her over her back like a sack of potatoes. She turns back to Giles and speaks admonishingly, as if she were berating an unruly child.  
  
BUFFY: Koogooadda! Lilsaziuga! Shytah Eezdah! (points at herself with a free hand) NIN! Ghaulae Cughryghe! Hmph!  
  
She turns around and vault out the kitchen backdoor. She's off like a shot.  
  
The others take a few seconds getting their bearings. They're all presently on the floor. Each are harmed from Buffy's escape in different ways. Xander's checking his ribcage for cracked ribs. Giles hit his head at some point. Dawn is holding her neck.  
  
XANDER: (to Giles) Dude what was that about? You got the subtitles?  
  
DAWN: We have to go after her!  
  
GILES: No, there's no point.  
  
XANDER: What you're just going to give up on Buffy?  
  
GILES: That's not Buffy!  
  
XANDER: Dawn are you okay?  
  
DAWN: (nods then says to Giles) Giles, what do you mean?  
  
GILES: (slowly standing up) Before she left.. What she said.  
  
They help one another back to their feet.  
  
XANDER: She was mumbling gibberish.  
  
GILES: Not gibberish, Xander. Sumerian. An ancient dialect. Strange. Strange enough to make me think I might have been imagining it.  
  
XANDER: It was baby talk.  
  
DAWN: Giles, could you make out what she was saying?  
  
GILES: Well, "Sigseg" means quiet in ancient Sumerian.  
  
DAWN: Maybe that's just a coincidence?  
  
GILES: Ghaulai cughryghe is a crude variant of "Vampire Slayer."  
  
XANDER: That's not a coincidence.  
  
GILES: Ghaulai means evil in human form. Cughryghe is an archaic word for hunter or murderer. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking. I'm so desperate to understand what's happening to Buffy. I may be just grasping at straws.  
  
WILLOW: What else did you hear?  
  
GILES: Well, as for the rest of it, I may need my books. Sumerian is a dead language, and her dialect indicates it may come from before the time Sumerians began writing word symbols down.  
  
XANDER: We're talking The First Slayer time, ain't we?  
  
GILES: Yes. From the dusk of prehistory. She said Shulshag in reference to you, Xander. It means roughly a man who holds the village together. A modern equivalent would be perhaps policeman. The actual word as I know it is "Shulleg." Shullegs were peacekeepers in some Sumerian villages. Highly respected among their people for negotiation and brinkmanship. Strategists. They stopped internal arguments and sometimes worked as judge, jury & executioner.  
  
DAWN: This is all very fascinating but what do we do?  
  
XANDER: That's a good thing, right? Me being called a Shulleg?  
  
GILES: Yes but I fail to understand what that has to do with you. What's the connection?  
  
XANDER: Oh.  
  
GILES: Koogooadda sounds like a compound word structure. What it brings to mind is "voice in corpse," but I fail to see how The First Slayer could deduce that from Willow by just sniffing at the air.  
  
XANDER: I think we're beyond coincidence now, though. If that's true it's right on the money. Tara's the voice of a dead.. uhm..  
  
GILES: Again I may just be grabbing at straws. I need my books.  
  
DAWN: Aren't we going after Buffy?  
  
XANDER: Please Dawn.  
  
DAWN: If you're not, I am!  
  
GILES: This is The First Slayer. We don't just talk Buffy down this time. And I know you Dawn, you want to just run off head first and think things through later but it's unsafe! We need a plan.  
  
XANDER: Lilsaziuga! She said that to Tara too. What does that mean.  
  
GILES: Now that one did sound like gibberish. Red raven? Perhaps in reference to Willow's body. Wind spirit red raven soul? Again, very strange use of compound word structure.  
  
XANDER: Maybe I'm saying it wrong? Or maybe The First Slayer failed in Sumerian grammar school?  
  
DAWN: Well first Slayer or no we have to go after her.  
  
XANDER: And do what? Hit her over the head with a club? Set up bear traps and throw a net over her?  
  
DAWN: (to Xander) Something! (to Giles) You're the brains of us. Think of something!  
  
GILES: Dawn I understand your concern-  
  
DAWN: She's my sister!  
  
GILES: -- the power of the Slayer is strong under normal circumstances, but if for some reason The First Slayer has taken direct possession of Buffy, I don't believe there's a force on this Earth that can shut her down.  
  
XANDER: Yes there is.  
  
Giles looks at Xander.  
  
GILES: You're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting.  
  
XANDER: It worked once before.  
  
GILES: And we all almost died!  
  
DAWN: Suggest what?  
  
XANDER: (to Giles) Like you said, nothing can stop her. She can do what she wants. If she wanted us dead, we'd be dead by now. Instead she ran off.  
  
GILES: Fight or flight mentality. It's the cornerstone of The First Slayer's M.O. She's primeval.  
  
XANDER: But she didn't fight. She threw us off her like ragdolls. When we did it last time she could have killed us but she didn't then too.  
  
DAWN: (overlapping Xander & Giles) What are you suggesting?  
  
GILES: You're right. She could have killed us twice now and she hasn't, although apparently she's no love lost for me.  
  
XANDER: If we do this, she won't hurt us. I know it.  
  
DAWN: If we do what?  
  
XANDER: What we did a couple years ago when we took out Adam.  
  
GILES: We need Willow. She was the spirit. She knew the spell.  
  
XANDER: You know it too, don't you?  
  
GILES: We both do but she was using my books. Again, I need my books.  
  
XANDER: Lemme guess. They're in England.  
  
GILES: (nods) It may come to me. It was required learning at the Watcher's School, but that was a long time ago, and it's rarely ever used. I may be the first Watcher to have ever used it twice.  
  
DAWN: Well that's ironic. I mean Willow's spirit is missing and she was the spirit in this spell?  
  
GILES: Actually -Damn! In all the confusion I forgot. I know where Willow's spirit is. Inside Tara.  
  
XANDER: How can that be? Wouldn't they be sharing consciousness? Or wouldn't Tara know Willow's in there?  
  
GILES: Willow's locked herself away in her own subconscious. The Crone believes it's due to her own guilt over what she almost did. To all of us.  
  
DAWN: Then let me be the Spirit. Tell me what to do.  
  
GILES: This is not like pulling rabbits out of a hat.  
  
XANDER: It's pretty dangerous.  
  
DAWN: (adamant but mature) I'm not a kid! Buffy's in trouble. Willow and Tara are in trouble. What do we do?  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: The rubble of what once was Watcher Council Headquarters. There's various authorities scattered about. Yellow police ribbon has cordoned off the surrounding area. There's a few stragglers. May be some survivors. The camera passes by all of these and past the yellow police ribbon to the rubble itself.  
  
Smoke still comes up out of the rubble, but there's little to no flame. It's a terrible mess. Brick and concrete and metal all over. The camera pans to a seemingly inconspicuous part of the rubble. As we close in on this particular area that looks no different from anywhere else, we see a hand appear from out from under it all. Slowly, with an insurmountable effort on the part of a woman who does not have the power of a Slayer but doesn't appear to need it, a female form pulls herself up.  
  
It's Kelley Keeghan.  
  
When she reaches the top she looks around. There's bloody gashes on her arms and legs. She's got blood and dust and ash in her hair and on her face and clothes. This ain't the kinda gal who hangs out at the mall. She looks more at home in a war. Who knows? She's from Northern Ireland. Maybe she was born in a demilitarized zone. To her, this is war.  
  
Kelley spins around. She sees a shadow over in the distance. She darts off after it. She runs away from the rubble and the police, who didn't even notice her presence. She stops. Spins around. Sees a shadow. Chases off after it. She does this a couple times.  
  
The camera shows us that she's heading for a city in the distance. Something's apparently leading her, though she doesn't know what.  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: Exterior. Night. The graveyard. Spike's Crypt is in the distance. Spike is sitting on a tombstone looking up at the stars, smoking a cigarette. Clem walks up to Spike from the Crypt. He says his first line soon after he appears on screen and continues approaching Spike as they begin their conversation. Whenever Clem reaches Spike's side, Spike offers him a piece of tombstone to sit next to him. They sit close together. Like old friends.  
  
CLEM: Yo, Spike!  
  
SPIKE: Hey man.  
  
CLEM: Wanna play cards?  
  
SPIKE: (beat. He's lost in thought) Nah.  
  
CLEM: Soul's got you down?  
  
SPIKE: (this kinda pulls him out of his head) What? Oh nah. I'm cool with it. Y'know I almost didn't come back.  
  
CLEM: Yeah I was kinda surprised to see you back.  
  
SPIKE: When when I came back into my body I was flooded with memories of all these terrible things Spike's done. And I know that Spike is me and I am Spike, but it's like Angel and Angeles, eh? When he has his soul he's all torn up inside about what he did when he didn't have his soul. I always thought that he was just being a drama queen. Now that I know what it feels like, I still think he was being a drama queen.  
  
Clem laughs. Spike takes a drag of his cigarette.  
  
SPIKE: I mean, what happened in my body without my soul or my conscience there to counterbalance the evil that is in all men? It's horrible, yes. Those memories are terrible and I wish I could purge them from my soul, and it is a part of me now. But I can't find any guilt within me. It feels like I've been sleepwalking for a century and I just woke up and had bad nightmares.  
  
CLEM: Angeles? Do I know him?  
  
SPIKE: He was Spike's Sire. Well. Is.  
  
CLEM: Ah. He bit you.  
  
SPIKE: Well no. See, The Master bit Darla. Darla bit Angeles. Angeles bit Dru.  
  
CLEM: Then Drusilla bit you.  
  
SPIKE: Yes.  
  
CLEM: So that'd make Angel your GrandSire?  
  
SPIKE: Huh?  
  
CLEM: Y'know like humans. They have fathers, and then their father's father is their grandfather.  
  
SPIKE: Well it's not like that. The Master is my Sire. So's Darla.  
  
CLEM: Doesn't that get confusing?  
  
SPIKE: (smiles) What you're suggesting sounds more confusing.  
  
Clem shrugs.  
  
SPIKE: Hey I've been meaning to tell you. Thanks for keeping an eye on my place while I was away.  
  
CLEM: It was my pleasure. Better than the dump I was living in before. (beat) But you're free to take it back whenever you want.  
  
SPIKE: (smiles at Clem) Nah. I like having a roommate.  
  
CLEM: Gee! Thanks!  
  
SPIKE: In fact, I'm thinking of just letting you have it.  
  
CLEM: You're not moving out? I mean I like having a roommate too! It's cool!  
  
SPIKE: Yeah but I don't know. This place has too many memories.  
  
CLEM: You mean this graveyard, or this town?  
  
SPIKE: Both.  
  
CLEM: You're leaving again?  
  
SPIKE: Where else would I go? No. There's one thing that Spike promised when he was in charge of me. He made a promise to a little girl and I plan to keep that promise. I just don't know how, yet.  
  
CLEM: No offense meant, Spike. Er, uhm.. I mean William? But it just sounds like rationalizing.  
  
SPIKE: If I was here to stop him I would have.  
  
CLEM: (shakes his head) You're thinking too much like a human. Again, no offense.  
  
SPIKE: But I am human.  
  
CLEM: Were. You're still a vampire. You're part demon.  
  
SPIKE: What do you mean?  
  
CLEM: Maybe I should just leave it at that.  
  
SPIKE: No seriously. I wanna hear this.  
  
CLEM: (shrugs) When a lion takes down a weak hyena, is the lion being evil? Or is it simply doing what comes naturally?  
  
SPIKE: (laughs) Are you telling me the lion is doing the hyena a favor?  
  
CLEM: I said I should have probably left it at that.  
  
SPIKE: No! By all means! I find this most entertaining and enlightening.  
  
CLEM: You just have to look at the bigger picture. The lion takes out the weakest hyena. This keeps the population of the hyenas down, which means less mouths to feed so the hyena's pack is more efficient, with less resources of the surrounding area being used on weaker members of the species.  
  
SPIKE: Survival of the fittest.  
  
CLEM: (nods) That's one way of looking at it. I happen to think Darwin was short-sighted.  
  
SPIKE: Since when have you been so smart?  
  
CLEM: (sheepishly) Always. I guess I just need time to warm up to people. Sure ya don't wanna play cards?  
  
We hear grunting sounds in the distance, and perhaps the sound of a limp body being dropped to the ground.  
  
SPIKE: What was that?  
  
CLEM: What was what?  
  
SPIKE: Shh!  
  
They listen. It grows a little stronger. Grunting, followed shortly thereafter by the distant sound of a vampire slayer ripping a tombstone out of the ground. Spike stands up and walks towards the sound to investigate. As the following conversation ensues, we hear the repeating sound of ground being dug up.  
  
CLEM: Maybe a vampire coming out of his grave?  
  
SPIKE: Maybe.  
  
CLEM: You sure it's safe to go over there? Maybe we shouldn't be so curious.  
  
SPIKE: How'd you get so smart if you're not willing to learn anything?  
  
CLEM: Oh believe me. Existence has forced enough experience on me over the centuries. Nowadays I'm just content to watch TV.  
  
Spike stops and puts his arm up to stop Clem's progress. They've stopped around a tree and kneel down behind it.  
  
Camera cuts to show Buffy. She's digging into a grave, using the broken tombstone as a very crude shovel. Her demeanor is very primitive, like in the episode "Big Bad." She's acting as if she were Cro-Magnon. She grunts loudly as she digs. It's quite a spectacle. Also there is Tara-In-Willow, laying on the ground by the hole Buffy is digging. Tara-In-Willow is unconscious.  
  
Camera cuts back to show Spike & Clem reacting to this. They talk in forced whispers.  
  
SPIKE: Since when does the undead try to get into a grave?  
  
CLEM: That's Buffy, right? Maybe she thinks there's a vampire in there?  
  
SPIKE: If Spike's memories are accurate, Buffy has always waited for the vampire to climb out of the grave before she stakes him.  
  
CLEM: Either way it's not very sporting, is it?  
  
SPIKE: Ssh!  
  
Camera cuts back to show Buffy. She's about three feet into the grave and has been making incredible progress. She stops. Sniffs the air. Looks around. Sniffs again. We think she sees them. She almost sees them. She doesn't see them. She returns to her digging.  
  
Camera cuts to Spike & Clem. Spike puts his finger to his lips. Clem puts both hands up to cover his mouth. They quietly walk back the way they came.  
  
They go back to where the bulk of their earlier conversation occurred. They continue talking in forced whispers.  
  
CLEM: That is SO not Buffy! I mean it looks like Buffy but she'd never do anything like that.  
  
SPIKE: What? You mean grunt? Oh she's done stuff like that alright.  
  
CLEM: For a souled vampire you still have your brain in the gutter, y'know that?  
  
SPIKE: Alright. Here's what we do. You go back to Buffy's house and tell Dawn to gather the troops.  
  
Clem nods and turns to go. He stops and turns back.  
  
CLEM: And what do you do?  
  
SPIKE: Ah.. I uh, strike up a conversation with her.  
  
CLEM: You sure that's wise?  
  
SPIKE: I doubt it. I'm making this up as I go.  
  
CLEM: I'll hurry back.  
  
SPIKE: Please do that.  
  
Clem hurries away. Spike takes a moment to compose himself. It comes off like he's pretending to be Spike. An endearingly laughable parody of himself. He strolls around to the tree and into her view.  
  
Camera cuts to show both Buffy and Spike in view. We may or may not be able to see that although Buffy ripped out a tombstone to start digging, it's not the tombstone for the grave she is digging. On the tombstone we should be able to see the words "Tara Maclay."  
  
Spike approaches quietly, and she's noisily digging. We see the look on Buffy's face that she's noticed he's behind her, but she doesn't stop her digging. The First Slayer is playing dumb in order to gain the upper hand in what she predicts to be the ensuing battle. Spike finds a nearby tombstone that she hasn't knocked over. He leans his butt up against it, crosses his ankles and puts his hands back behind his head, as if he's leaning back in a recliner. All cool and suave.  
  
He glances over at Tara-In-Willow, who is still unconscious. He shrugs.  
  
SPIKE: I see ya found a hobby, Slayer.  
  
Buffy stops in her tracks. The tombstone is sort of over her head at this point. She eyes a piece of wood, which she conveniently has placed just outside the hole she's digging, near Tara-In-Willow.  
  
A good slayer's always prepared.  
  
Spike glances over and reads the tombstone.  
  
SPIKE: I doubt anyone in that grave is ready to talk right now but if you'd like to leave a message I'd- (It dawns on him.) Tara Maclay? Buffy, why are you digging up Tara's grave? You gonna put Willow in't?  
  
Buffy, with her back still to him, throws the tombstone at him, using his voice as her target. She hits him square in the chest with it. It hurts. She then grabs the wooden stake and bounds out of the hole, spinning in midair. She lands right next to him, and goes to stake him. He makes a very awkward move where he flips backwards over the tombstone.  
  
A battle ensues between the two of them where she gets VERY VERY CLOSE to staking him several times. She's not holding back. It takes everything he has to keep from dying. Her aim is sharp.  
  
About one fourth through the battle, as the sounds of the battle increase, it wakes up Tara-In-Willow. She awakes with discomfort and looks around. She sees Spike & Buffy fighting but is too weak to do much about it. Tara- In-Willow then sees her own tombstone. No words. She just starts crying.  
  
Throughout the battle, Spike's trying to calm Buffy down and try to talk sense into her, at first thinking she's still Buffy. Then about half way through the battle it dawns on him that the lights are on but whoever's home inside her head, it's not Buffy. The actual dialogue would depend partly on the choreography, but it should go something like this:  
  
SPIKE: What the-Hey you could put an eye out with that thing. Yowch! That smarts! Now cut it out. Slayer! Slayer? Look I'm sorry I didn't mean to piss you off! What!? Hey! Hello, Slayer? Remember me? You, me, we did the nasty? Hello! Dammit watch your nails! Are you still upset over that bathroom thing? I've been meaning to talk to you about that.. Agh! Okay perhaps this isn't a good time. There's something I just don't understand, you have had a thousand chances to kill me off before why are you being so insistent now? .Woah. You're not kidding are you? Buffy are you even in there? Hello! Help! Buffy! What's wrong with you?  
  
Buffy may intersperse some Sumerian responses, but more probable she just keeps her mouth shut and proceeds to kick his ass.  
  
On more than one occasion, it should look to the audience that Spike is about to become dust. He never gets the upper hand. The entire time he's on the defensive. It's very good defensive! He's fast on his feet and quick- witted, and the fact she's working on sheer animal instinct and he's firing on all cylinders gives him an advantage, but it's also his weakness because she very much wants to kill him and he can't bring himself to harm a hair on her head.  
  
Towards the end of the fight, Buffy makes moves that cause Spike to see very very brief flashes of scenes we saw in "Fool For Love." Her actions remind him of the two Slayers that soulless Spike murdered. This throws him off his game and he actually starts looking scared. By the end of this fight, he is exhausted. He's been punched in the face. A lot. He's limping. One of his arms is limp. This should be the harshest and hardest battle Spike and Buffy have ever fought. The audience should feel he's done a brilliant job defending. It's not that the soul has turned him into a wimp. He still kicks ass in a scrape. It's just that even though he's taken out two standard issue slayers in his past, Spike is no match for the real thing. The First One. Especially since he doesn't know that's what he's up against.  
  
She jumps on him. Throws him to the ground. She has him on the ropes. He's down for the count. She pins him down with her knees, stake poised. He's breathing hard. She's slightly out of breath but could go another ten rounds. He's finished.  
  
BUFFY: Bah-zhur-ree-bel-yun-nu-york-soob-wah.  
  
SPIKE stares back at her cold emotionless eyes with stark raving mad fear. Tears are in his eyes.  
  
SPIKE: (breathlessly) Boxer rebellion! New York Subway! The other slayers!  
  
BUFFY: Bah-zhur-ree! Nu-Soob-WAH!  
  
SPIKE: You're The First One!  
  
BUFFY: Bah-zhur-! Soob-WAH!  
  
SPIKE: It wasn't me! I wasn't there! I HAD NO SOUL!  
  
Buffy gives a primal banshee scream that curdles the blood. Buffy raises her hands up in the air. Spike puts one hand up cowardly trying to block the weapon from driving home.  
  
SPIKE: I'M SORRY!  
  
SCREEN GOES BLACK  
  
END SCENE. COMMERCIAL BREAK.  
  
ACT III  
  
Scene: Interior. Night. We're in the living room of Buffy's House. It appears they've done a quick attempt to turn the front room into a suitable space to conduct an incantation. Giles, Xander and Dawn are seated Indian Style in the same positions as when they performed this spell in the episode "Primeval." Dawn is a bit shocked and perhaps a bit disturbed but also fascinated.  
  
DAWN: When Willow went cold turkey we cleaned out the house of pretty much all magic stuff.  
  
XANDER: I had this pack of playing cards in my truck. One of my boys musta left it in the cab. Will it pass for Tarot cards?  
  
GILES: They weren't Tarot cards that we used before, Xander. (he looks at the deck disappointed) I guess they'll have to do. We'll use the face cards. Pick the one that looks most like you.  
  
Xander takes a card and gives the pack to Dawn, who does the same and passes the deck to Giles. Giles absent-mindedly sets the deck of cards in front of him but forgets to actually select a card.  
  
XANDER: The one eyed Jack. I always liked this card.  
  
Xander closes one eye and does a pirate impersonation at Dawn, who forces down a good spirited giggle.  
  
GILES: When we did this last, Willow ran the spell, but considering the circumstances I -  
  
XANDER: Giles, can you remember?  
  
GILES: (shrugs a bit) I shall do my best.  
  
XANDER: You don't remember do you?  
  
GILES: I don't have access to my books, but I think I remember most of it. Hopefully the rest will come to me.  
  
XANDER: We gonna have bad dreams after this again?  
  
GILES: Probably.  
  
DAWN: Bad dreams? What bad dreams?  
  
GILES: Dawn please we're short on time.  
  
DAWN: No one told me about bad dreams.  
  
XANDER: At least this time we won't have to worry about a military installation filled with demons.  
  
GILES: Or Adam for that matter. However, when our shared sentience enters Buffy, we have no idea what to expect.  
  
DAWN: You mean besides the fact that someone's already in her?  
  
GILES: Well in theory by performing this spell, we'll have bound the spirit of The First Slayer long enough to push her out of Buffy and return her to normal.  
  
DAWN: What do you mean 'in theory'? Do we even know if this will work?  
  
GILES: Well, it's worked once before.  
  
XANDER: Yeah but the First Slayer wasn't actually IN Buffy.  
  
GILES: In essence, The First Slayer is always in Buffy. It's how she gets her powers.  
  
DAWN: Again, in theory. Right?  
  
GILES: Well. Yes. Though the Watchers have studied her for millennia, we don't actually understand the intricacies of how The First Slayer operates.  
  
XANDER: Let's stop talkin' and start ch-ch-chalkin'.  
  
GILES: Very well said. Are we ready?  
  
DAWN: Wait! This is my sister and we're going on theories?  
  
GILES: Dawn, you know us. We would never do anything to knowingly harm Buffy.  
  
XANDER: We love her too.  
  
DAWN: Yeah but what about doing anything unknowingly? I mean, isn't this a bit rash? You said yourself this is very dangerous.  
  
GILES: If anyone has a better idea I'm all ears.  
  
Dawn pouts and looks down at the floor.  
  
GILES: Alright then. Are we ready?  
  
There's several large banging knocks at the door. All three of them are startled by this. Actually Xander and Dawn are startled. Giles gives more of an impatient "now what?" look.  
  
There is a pregnant pause.  
  
DAWN: (getting up) Should I get that?  
  
GILES: (loud, but doesn't get up.) Who is it!?  
  
CLEM: It's me!  
  
XANDER: Me who? Why do people do that?  
  
DAWN: (going to the door) It's Clem!  
  
The others verbally indicate that they think that might be a bad idea. Dawn opens the door. Clem rushes in. Dawn closes the door behind him, then returns to her place in the circle.  
  
CLEM: Buffy's gone whacko!  
  
XANDER: We know this!  
  
CLEM: She's in the cemetery digging up a grave.  
  
GILES: A grave?  
  
XANDER: Which one?  
  
CLEM: I didn't stop to read the tombstone. Spike told me to come straight here.  
  
XANDER: Ah. Spike's with Buffy. What else can go wrong tonight?  
  
GILES: Spike isn't doing anything rash, is he?  
  
CLEM: Before I left he said he was going to try to talk to her.  
  
GILES: Oh bloody hell.  
  
XANDER: Brilliant. He oughtta be dead by now.  
  
GILES: (to Clem) It's not Buffy. It's the First Slayer. He'll kill her!  
  
Without being asked, Clem just sets himself down between Xander & Dawn, assuming they're having some kind of pow-wow.  
  
CLEM: First Slayer? Wow!  
  
XANDER: That's a good thing, isn't it? The First One killing Spike? Can we celebrate or should we have a wake?  
  
CLEM: I thought she was acting kinda strange. (to Dawn) She was using a tombstone for a shovel.  
  
GILES: We've not a moment to lose. Let's start the incantation.  
  
XANDER: Let's wait a minute. I don't see a problem here.  
  
GILES: If we don't stop the First Slayer she's going to kill him.  
  
XANDER: Yes. AND?  
  
DAWN: (to Clem) Doesn't he have a soul now?  
  
CLEM: Yep.  
  
XANDER: Has anyone ever seen this soul? Maybe he's just making it up?  
  
GILES: Xander hush please.  
  
XANDER: I mean maybe Big Bad Slayer Lady's gonna do us a favor.  
  
GILES: SILENCE!  
  
The room suddenly is quiet as a tomb. Giles has their undivided attention.  
  
GILES: Good. Let us begin.  
  
CLEM: (whispers to Dawn) What do we do?  
  
DAWN: Wait to pick up the pieces.  
  
Clem nods, then double takes at Dawn.  
  
GILES: "The power of the slayer and all who wield it, last to ancient first we invoke thee. Grant us thy domain of primal strength, accept us and the powers we possess. Because mind and heart and spirit join, let the hand encompass us, do thy will."  
  
Camera cuts to Dawn. Then it shows Xander who's nonverbally motioning for her to go.  
  
DAWN: Oh! Right! Uhm.. "Spiritus! The Spirit!"  
  
She hesitantly sets her Queen of Hearts in the circle between the three of them.  
  
CLEM: (whispering to Dawn. Supportive) Very well done.  
  
DAWN: (whispers back) Thank you.  
  
XANDER: "Animus! The Heart!"  
  
Xander takes his one-eyed jack card and places it in the circle between the three of them.  
  
GILES: "Sophus! The Mind!"  
  
Giles looks down for his card, then makes like he realizes now that he forgot. He wonders what to do for a millisecond then just takes the top card from the deck.  
  
It's a joker.  
  
The other three in the circle look at him at the same time. Giles just sort of looks back at them and shrugs.  
  
Camera cuts to Clem & Dawn, who kinda smirk and quietly giggle at that.  
  
GILES: And Manus the hand.  
  
Giles takes another card off the top. It's the Ace of Spades.  
  
GILES: (to Xander) Did you even shuffle this deck?  
  
XANDER: Maybe?  
  
Giles rolls his eyes.  
  
GILES: (He has trouble with this part. He's trying to remember the words.) We enjoin that we may inhabit the vessel. The hand, daughter of Sineya, first of the Ones, who has imbued within her essence the forces of good and evil so that the balance may be o'ertaken by uhm.  
  
XANDER: Uhm, Good stuff!  
  
GILES: Xander please!  
  
XANDER: Just tryin' ta help.  
  
GILES: We beseech thee! Hear our plea! Uhm.. something about the Moutains and the Valleys and the River of your birthplace, to the birthright of your ..uhm.. Oh dear..  
  
XANDER: Can't we just skip a bit?  
  
GILES: Honestly I thought the rest of it would come to me.  
  
DAWN: Maybe we should call the Crone?  
  
GILES: No. We're indebted to her far too much already.  
  
CLEM: Uh, guys? Spike's in trouble. Pissing off The First Slayer is really not the way to go.  
  
XANDER: Oh like you'd know?  
  
CLEM: I would! I've pissed off a slayer or two in my day. (to Dawn) It's why I'm real nice to you and your sister. I've learned my lesson. Slayers are good people once ya get to know'm.  
  
DAWN: So are some demons.  
  
Clem and Dawn smile at each other. Clem reaches over and grabs the deck of cards. Giles tries not to be annoyed.  
  
GILES: Give me a minute.. It'll come to me. . We beseech thee! Hear our plea!  
  
DAWN: Clem do you know how it goes?  
  
CLEM: Oh. Nah. Magic gives me the creeps. Wanna play gin rummy?  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: External. Graveyard. Night.  
  
Buffy is poised to strike Spike's heart with her wooden stake. Spike is utterly helpless. He's not moping. He's not cowardly. He's looking right at her, with one hand meekly defending his chest. He's simply all fought out. He's got nothing left. He's at her mercy.  
  
Spike looks right at her. Not begging for his life. He simply tries to get her to understand.  
  
SPIKE: I'm sorry.  
  
Buffy's eyes are emotionless. Her face shows no indication of glee at the battle. She simply assumes he's a vampire. She intends to kill him as payment for the deaths he's caused her 'children.' She also just takes him as another vampire that needs to be dispatched. The Slayer shows no joy in the work. It's simply what she does.  
  
However. She has stopped. Poised. Ready. For a long moment. She sniffs the air around him and gets a disgusted look on her face.  
  
Spike looks back at her curiously. He moves his hand away. Buffy lowers her weapon.  
  
Buffy licks his forehead quite unceremoniously.  
  
SPIKE: HEY!  
  
Buffy contemplates the taste of his skin on her tongue. She gets a disgusted look. She spits to the side.  
  
BUFFY: Izigalla! (Buffy points at herself with the stick) Ghaulae Cughryghe!  
  
SPIKE: Gaul? Is that your name?  
  
BUFFY: Nin!  
  
SPIKE: Nin's your name?  
  
BUFFY: Nin! Ghaulae Cughryghe! (she points the stake at his heart) Izigalla! (she spits to the side again)  
  
SPIKE: Yeh right, I'm a worthless piece of meat. We've had this conversation before, Buffy. But you were speaking English.  
  
BUFFY: Choo Mehyen, Izigalla! (she poises the stake over his heart tauntingly) Kul Chug Mehyen!  
  
SPIKE: Kul Chug. Wait, I know this! Uhm.. evil kill. Kill evil. You're talking some weird form of Sumerian! Damn, where's that pesky librarian friend of yours when I need him?  
  
Buffy gets off him, drops the stake and jumps back into the hole. She returns to her work.  
  
Spike does inventory of his body. Realizes parts of it aren't working properly, and crawls his way to the hole.  
  
SPIKE: Choo Mehyen? What's that mean? Izigalla. What are you saying?  
  
Buffy ignores him.  
  
SPIKE: So that's it then? You beat me to an inch of my unlife and then realize I'm not even worth spitting on? Is that it?  
  
Buffy ignores him, and continues digging. Spike makes it as close as he dares to Buffy without actually falling in the hole. Then he uses his good arm to try and fix the bad one. It doesn't help.  
  
SPIKE: I think you dislocated my shoulder or something. Just gonna leave me to die then, are you?  
  
BUFFY: Izigalla! HA! (she spits to the side as she continues digging)  
  
SPIKE: So I'll just lay here and rot then, shall I? Alright. You just keep diggin'. Don't let me bother you none. I'd love to help you out there, Sommers, but I can't seem to feel my arm here, and my legs are all wonky. I don't suppose your powerful friend inside your noggin' could help me out none, eh? Healing powers perhaps? Too much to ask I suppose.  
  
She continues digging for awhile. Trying to ignore him, but it's like she can feel his eyes boring into the back of her skull. She drops the tombstone to the other side of the hole. Turns around. Grabs his arm. Looks it over. Realizes his shoulder's dislocated.  
  
BUFFY: (to Spike) Choo Meyhen! Kul chug, izigalla!  
  
She jams it back into place with one swift motion. Spike screams. After the pains subsides, he realizes he can move his arm again. It hurts, but at least it's working. Spike sits up, and tries to massage feeling back into his legs.  
  
SPIKE: Uh. Thanks.  
  
Buffy grunts, and returns to digging.  
  
Spike looks around. Looks back at Buffy. Sees Tara-In-Willow, who's just staring at her gravestone.  
  
SPIKE: Willow? You alright love?  
  
WILLOW: (screams at him, crying) I'm NOT Willow!  
  
SPIKE: (puts his hands up in front of him in surrender) Fine! Fine, that's just fine. You're not you. I'm not me. She's not she and we are all together.  
  
Spike turns around and contemplates his lot in life. Then off in the distance, behind the camera, he notices something.  
  
Camera cuts to show over the shoulder view from Spike. Coming towards him are a couple flashlight beams in the darkness. Buffy continues digging and ignores what's going on. Tara-In-Willow continues crying.  
  
SPIKE: Oh now you've done it, Slayer. Must be the police. Y'know? Policia? I'd run but I don't think I can walk yet. I'd hate to have to sit in a wheelchair again for another three months. You did it to me again, Sommers. Remember the last time you left me to die? But now you'll get yours. When the coppers come it'll be amusing to watch you talk your way out of this one. (motions to whatever's coming towards them) Over here! Take a look! Bet you haven't seen a crazy woman digging in a grave before!  
  
Now we see that the flashlights belong to Xander and Clem. Giles and Dawn are following behind them.  
  
CLEM: Hey, Spike! Told ya I'd hurry back.  
  
SPIKE: I'd rise up to meet ya boys and girls but the lass here has left me mildly incapacitated. I can feel my legs but I wish I couldn't.  
  
XANDER: Kicked your ass, didn't she?  
  
SPIKE: Yeah and what's going on? Ah, Giles! A sight for sore eyes.  
  
GILES: Am I?  
  
Dawn & Xander go to see to Tara-In-Willow. Giles & Clem kneel down by Spike, who looks really bad.  
  
SPIKE: Yeah you are. What's it mean Choo Meyhen! Kul chug, izigalla!  
  
GILES: It's ancient Sumerian.  
  
SPIKE: I know that. I just never got much of the vocabulary down.  
  
GILES: Uhm, let's see.. Choo Meyhen.. You're my property. Kul chug means kill evil for me. And izigalla is a very ancient compound word for vampire with a soul.  
  
SPIKE: Really!  
  
GILES: Actually galla means evil one in human form, either a demon, a vampire, ghoul or lycanthrope. And izi means human soul. So Izigalla means evil in human form with a human soul. So that's you.  
  
SPIKE: So she puts me within a half inch of my unlife and then gives me back my life on the understanding that I am now her slave?  
  
GILES: Looks like it. You kill evil on her command. Choo Mehyen. Her property. You're now slave to The First Slayer.  
  
SPIKE: (looks back at Buffy) Well finally I'm making progress with her.  
  
GILES: (to Spike) You're hopeless, you know that?  
  
SPIKE: (back to Giles. Smiling) Correction. WAS hopeless.  
  
He's smiling despite the pain, and Giles finds himself smiling at the situation despite himself.  
  
SPIKE: So now what do we do with Clan of the Cave Bear over there?  
  
GILES: She's the First Slayer. We let her do what she wants.  
  
SPIKE: That your way of saying we're out of ideas? (Giles nods) Mend broken bones along the way then?  
  
GILES: Looks like it.  
  
SPIKE: Damn good thing I'm already dead then. A few pints of pig's blood and I'll be right as rain.  
  
CLEM: (pats Spike on the back softly) That's the spirit!  
  
END SCENE. COMMERCIAL BREAK.  
  
ACT IV  
  
Scene: External. Morning in England. There's like, ten hours difference between England and Sunnydale, so if it's night in California it's probably daytime near the Watcher's Council. Somewhere on the streets of London. Anya, Faith and Gabriella have been partying all night in celebration of their escape from the clutches of the Watcher's Council. They leave a pub and walk down the street. The camera follows them.  
  
FAITH: Aww man! I've never felt so alive!  
  
ANYA: That thing you did back there to those guys, that was great!  
  
GABRIEL: We had them wrapped around our little fingers!  
  
FAITH: Yeah that was great! You two are such a blast to party with!  
  
ANYA: Wow what time is it? Any of you have a watch?  
  
GABRIEL: I'm not into time. I'm gonna live forever.  
  
FAITH: Careful what you wish for Gabby.  
  
They all laugh at this. They look at Anya knowingly and she smiles demurely.  
  
FAITH: So what's next? We wanna blow up another building? Maybe scare some locals? I'm sure England's gotta have some vampire's nests we could burn.  
  
GABRIEL: (looking tired) Actually I was thinking more about sleep.  
  
FAITH: Sleep? Don't give up on me now, sister!  
  
ANYA: Faith.  
  
FAITH: Yeah.  
  
ANYA: There's still a little complication of your wish that we haven't decided on yet.  
  
FAITH: Well the Watcher's Council will never be able to touch me ever again, right?  
  
ANYA: Right. If ever another branch of the Watchers attempt to they'll see the same fate that the main headquarters did.  
  
GABRIEL: Their foundation will fall!  
  
Faith & Gabriel do a high five. The three of them walk off the main street into an alley. Gabriel starts looking like she's taking ill.  
  
FAITH: So I'm free of them forever.  
  
ANYA: Yes.  
  
FAITH: And now I'm the only one to decide who gets to be the Slayer after me.  
  
ANYA: Yes. But you have to decide now.  
  
FAITH: Yeah but I'm not going anywhere any time soon. Blood still pumping in this bitch.  
  
ANYA: But you've already died, remember?  
  
FAITH: Only for a minute!  
  
ANYA: That's all it takes. You're like Buffy now. You'll still have your powers, but the next Slayer has to be chosen. You can pass the power of the Slayer on to someone else now.  
  
FAITH: Whoever I want?  
  
Gabriel falls to the ground. She's puking. Faith and Anya react. They look back.  
  
ANYA: Gabby? What's wrong?  
  
Three demons enter the mouth of the alley, as Anya & Faith kneel down to care to Gabby.  
  
FAITH: Oh my God! She's coughing up blood!  
  
GABRIEL: (in between coughs) I been poisoned!  
  
FAITH: But how?  
  
ANYA: The pub! Someone must have poisoned her drink!  
  
DEMON 1: Hey Slayer! Thought we were just stupid humans didn't ya?  
  
They look up and the three demons come more into view. Anya recognizes them.  
  
GABRIEL: I done for. Save yourselves!  
  
ANYA: Hey you were the guys in the pub! How come I didn't know you were demons before?  
  
Gabby falls to the ground. Faith falls with her, then cradles her limp body.  
  
DEMON 1: What you think it takes one to know one? We're on to you, Anyanka!  
  
ANYA: What do you mean?  
  
DEMON 1: Saddling up with a vampire slayer? The boss ain't gonna like that none.  
  
ANYA: Hey I was doing my job!  
  
FAITH: No! No kid! I was gonna give it to you, Gabby! I want you to be my Slayer Sister! Come on! Gabby! Wake up!  
  
Anya checks Gabby's pulse. She shakes her head solemnly at Faith.  
  
DEMON 1: I think you got bigger problems than a poisoned slayer wannabe.  
  
ANYA: You did this!  
  
DEMON 1: The poison works fast, doesn't it? She's got a high constitution though for a wannabe. It shoulda killed her while she was still in the pub.  
  
FAITH: I'm gonna rip your arms off and beat your friends with them!  
  
The demons laugh. Anya and Faith set Gabby down and then take formation. Side to side. They look pretty damn impressive together. The demons take positions around them. Faith & Anya reposition themselves back to back. Still look formidable, but Anya's a bit uneasy.  
  
FAITH: (under her breath, to Anya) Can you fight?  
  
ANYA: (whispers back) If I had a baseball bat. Maybe.  
  
Close up on the two of them. Camera has Faith's face framed larger than Anya's, who's behind her in this shot.  
  
FAITH: (determinedly) You can fight now.  
  
ANYA: What do you mean?  
  
Camera zooms in on Anya who suddenly gets a realization.  
  
ANYA: Oh God, Faith. No!  
  
The battle ensues. Both Faith and Anya kick some major butt. About a dozen other demons who seem to crawl out of the woodwork follow behind the three demons. The two girls together make a powerful combination, and by the battle's end it should be no question to anyone in the audience.  
  
Anya's now a Vampire Slayer.  
  
Faith and Anya finish Demon 1 last. Before he dies, a blood-like substance gurgling out of his mouth, he says to Anya:  
  
DEMON 1: D'Hoffryn's will be done.  
  
ANYA: But what about MY WILL huh!?  
  
Anya kicks the fallen Demon 1.  
  
FAITH: What did he mean by that?  
  
ANYA: Nothin'. Let's go.  
  
FAITH: No. Wait. Anya! What did he mean?  
  
ANYA: (fighting crying) Why did you give it to ME!? Of all people?  
  
FAITH: We're friends. I really like you.  
  
ANYA: And I like you but. Oh dammit!  
  
FAITH: What's wrong?  
  
ANYA: Didn't you know I'm a demon? I'm a vengeance demon! It's how I gave you your wish!  
  
FAITH: Yeah but Xander said you weren't a demon anymore.  
  
ANYA: Xander! Oh great. This is just great.  
  
FAITH: I don't get it.  
  
Anya takes a hand and straightens out Faith's hair with it. She says this with the utmost of sincerity.  
  
ANYA: Of course you wouldn't get it you adorable, but stupid girl. I was a demon for a thousand years but then I lost my powers. I became human. Xander asked me to marry him.  
  
FAITH: He did? Man when you're locked up in jail you miss out on all the gossip!  
  
ANYA: But he walked out on me.  
  
FAITH: He ditched you? At the altar?  
  
ANYA: Yes!  
  
FAITH: That bastard! I'll kill him!  
  
ANYA: No! nononono. You really are a good friend, but no.  
  
FAITH: I still don't see the problem.  
  
ANYA: Faith. After the bogus wedding ceremony, my demon master, who we invited to the wedding, he offered me my old job back.  
  
FAITH: Well that's good isn't it?  
  
ANYA: No. It's not good. Not now. The Vampire Slayer's supposed to be a human!  
  
FAITH: (it dawns on her) but you're not human anymore? Again.  
  
ANYA: Right!  
  
FAITH: Okay. Well then. I take it back. I'll pick someone else.  
  
ANYA: No you can't! It's too late!  
  
FAITH: Oh. Well that sucks.  
  
They stand there for a moment. Looking at each other.  
  
FAITH: I could kill you.  
  
ANYA: (smiles at that) Yeah! (then stops) No wait! I think if you tried to kill me I'd have to try to stop you I mean the whole dying thing. I got a bit of an issue with that.  
  
FAITH: Yeah and besides I don't think I could kill you anyway. We've been through a lot together the last couple days.  
  
Camera pulls back to remind us this moving scene is happening amidst an alley filled with dead demon guys.  
  
ANYA: Yeah! I just feel so close to you right now!  
  
FAITH: Yeah! I mean you saved my soul! Literally!  
  
They both laugh happily.  
  
ANYA: And you just showed me what a white Russian is!  
  
FAITH: Aren't they kick ass?  
  
ANYA: Yeah they so majorly kick ass! Ooh I love you!  
  
FAITH: Ooh I love you too!  
  
They hug each other like long lost sisters. That whole women bonding thing.  
  
FAITH: So what do we do?  
  
ANYA: Maybe we can go back to Sunnydale? Maybe the Scoobies'll know what to do?  
  
FAITH: You sure that's wise? They'll just wanna kill me, won't they?  
  
ANYA: Oh no! I'm sure we can explain the situation to them and everything will be alright.  
  
FAITH: Oh, so okay just teleport us away and we'll be-  
  
ANYA: Oops. I can't do that.  
  
FAITH: Why not?  
  
ANYA: Well I can only teleport to scorned women.  
  
FAITH: Aren't there any scorned women in Sunnydale?  
  
ANYA: (thinks) Not at the moment. Oh! But there's a scorned woman in Miami! We'll teleport there, help her out, and then drive the rest of the way.  
  
FAITH: Cool! Road trip! We'll be like Thelma & Louise!  
  
ANYA: Yeah! Okay take my hand.  
  
Faith takes Anya's hand.  
  
FAITH: Next stop! Miami! Can we sunbathe while we're there?  
  
ANYA: Oh certainly! We're in no big rush!  
  
Anya makes an emphatic gesture with her other hand and voila! They're gone.  
  
Camera cuts to the mouth of the alley. D'Hoffryn & his old golfing buddy are standing there overlooking Anya & Faith's exit as well as the destruction they've left behind. Neither of them are in their golfing clothes. D'Hoffryn's in his more demonic appearance. His Caddy friend is in similar attire.  
  
CADDY: Should we get someone to clean up this mess?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Yes but only our kind. Keep the Slayer in training where she is untouched. Someone will be here soon and I want her to see it.  
  
CADDY: Just like playing golf, eh old friend?  
  
D'HOFFRYN: Oh you know it. I think we just eagled.  
  
END SCENE  
  
Scene: Exterior. The cemetery. Night. Spike's back on his feet but looking a little wobbly on the legs. He's limping. Buffy is still digging with the tombstone. It's a much larger, more impressive hole now. Looks like she's been at it for a while. We can only see her head now and ground's flying up out of the grave at regular intervals. Clem's not here.  
  
The others have cloistered around Tara-In-Willow who will henceforth just be referred to as Willow. They've been comforting her as they impatiently await what Buffy's going to do next. Willow is hugging herself and appears in a daze. Not all there.  
  
XANDER: Maybe we should stop Buffy?  
  
SPIKE: Oh right, I'd like to see you try it.  
  
XANDER: It's just a little weird, she's disturbing Tara's grave!  
  
GILES: Yes but there's not much point in .I mean once she's set her mind to something. At least she's not terrorizing the countryside. However, after she's done with this task we may have to find a.. uhm, tranquilizer gun or something.  
  
DAWN: Tara are you okay?  
  
WILLOW: (in a daze) Yeah. She's fine. I mean. We're okay now.  
  
Everyone doubletakes at Willow. Pretty much simultaneously.  
  
DAWN: (trying to look into Willow's eyes) Uhm.. Is it Tara or Willow speaking now?  
  
WILLOW: (looks thoughtfully a moment) I think it's both of us?  
  
XANDER: Oh. Well that's just great.  
  
WILLOW: We're.. comforting each other..  
  
GILES: Well this is unprecedented.  
  
DAWN: I think it's very sweet. That you two are together for each other.  
  
XANDER: I think it's very Twilight Zone-ey. Is it healthy? Dangerous? Giles?  
  
GILES: To be honest, I haven't a clue.  
  
WILLOW: We'll be okay. Really. It's just that.. seeing our grave and seeing Buffy digging up our grave. We both kinda freaked. We kinda, jumped into each other's arms I think. Figuratively. On some spirit arms kind of level. But we're fine now. Honest. Yeah, we can take on the world now. Together.  
  
GILES: (dryly) That's comforting.  
  
Buffy appears to be done. She throws the tombstone out of the hole and the sounds have changed. She's hit the casket.  
  
Camera now shows us the casket's view. Buffy's moving the last of the ground away trying to pry the door open. Behind her, we see the rest of the gang looking over her shoulder kind of in a clump. Actually, Willow isn't seen at first. Then she pops her head into view last. Then she covers her eyes and runs away. Dawn goes after her. Then they come back together into view.  
  
Buffy's a flurry of activity in the foreground trying to get this clump of dirt out of the way and then that one. The gang above her look expectantly for a moment. Then kinda weirded out. Then kinda bored. Giles looks at his watch, then looks off into the night sky.  
  
SPIKE: (sarcastically) Take your time Slayer.  
  
XANDER: Should we even be doing this? I mean we've gone off the scale of macabre here. This is major crazytown with the eerie music and clowns killing and. okay I'll shut up.  
  
GILES: Obviously there's a reason she wants to look into that casket. I for one want to be here when it opens.  
  
WILLOW: Ooh we can't look!  
  
DAWN: It'll be okay Willow & Tara. We're all here with you.  
  
WILLOW: Okay. Okay. Okay.  
  
Clem runs up into view.  
  
SPIKE: Clem? I feel a mite peckish.  
  
CLEM: (Pulls a flask out of his flabby flesh somewhere.) I thought you might. It's pig. It should be all warm and toasty.  
  
SPIKE: Do I wanna know where this has been?  
  
CLEM: My armpit. I was keeping it warm for ya.  
  
SPIKE: Oh, gee, thanks. (he takes a drink. Not bad.) No really. Thanks roomie.  
  
CLEM: My pleasure, roomie.  
  
Buffy opens the casket. She looks inside confidently. She seems to have been expecting this. Everyone else's jaw just drops.  
  
Camera cuts to show us what the gang's seeing. OTS buffy shot. Tara's body is gone.  
  
Camera cuts back to Buffy. Her eyes roll back in her head. She falls into the grave.  
  
END SCENE. FAST DISSOLVE.  
  
Scene: INTERIOR It's what used to be a church but it's a church that has been buried underground for almost a century. It's been cleaned up a bit. Some of the painted glass windows are partially broken and earth is behind them. The only thing sticking up out of the ground is the steeple and that's not in this shot.  
  
We see some demon looking acolytes shuffling around doing upkeep things. Still cleaning house. In the center of the room is a female in an elaborate robe and gown. Her back is to us. She has auburn hair. We can't tell who she is.  
  
This is the church in King Man's Bluff that Dark Willow was trying to pull up out of the ground at the end of season six. Though she didn't complete her task, it appears she woke someone up.  
  
One of the plain robed demon acolyte type dudes hurriedly walks into view and steps up to the back of the auburn haired lass in the elaborate robe and gown. We still don't see her face.  
  
ACOLYTE: Oh Great One! Our spies have returned! They say the vermin have disturbed the sacred ground!  
  
PROSERPEXA: Do they know?  
  
ACOLYTE: Yes. They now know that the body is not in its grave.  
  
The Auburn haired lass in the elaborate robe and gown turns around so that we may she her face. She smiles evilly. She looks gorgeous.  
  
Oh. And it's Tara. At least, it's Tara's body. Dead? Nah. This body's never looked better.  
  
PROSERPEXA: Excellent. They have all the pieces of the little puzzle to this game we're about to play. It's only a matter of time before we are able to finish what she started.  
  
ACOLYTE: Yes Great One!  
  
PROSERPEXA: Oh please! You're so formal. Call me by my name.  
  
ACOLYTE: As you wish Proserpexa! She who has foretold the end of the world!  
  
The other acolytes turn to her and applaud. She feins humility. Then she takes the face of her speaking acolyte in her hands.  
  
PROSERPEXA: Together WE will finish this world.  
  
The other Acolytes say this in unison with the one who has been speaking.  
  
ACOLYTE: Yes Proserpexa.  
  
PROSERPEXA: But first I will want the witch. She awoke me. Only she can complete the spell. I took the body of the one she holds most dear, in return for her waking me. Now I shall take both their souls.  
  
ACOLYTE: What shall we do with the rest of them?  
  
PROSERPEXA: Eventually we will kill them all, but for now. We may need one or two of them as bait to summon the witch. Tell my spies to keep watching the watchers. Learn from them. I want to know their weaknesses. We are in no hurry. Then when the moment is right we shall strike!  
  
ACOLYTE: Yes Proserpexa!  
  
End Scene  
  
Scene: We're back in the alley in England. Some time has passed. All the demons are gone, but the body of Gabriel remains left behind amidst garbage. We see in the distance a female form. As she comes closer into view we see it's Kelly Keegan. She approaches the body of Gabriel. She kneels before it. Checks for a pulse. She bows her head.  
  
KELLY: I hated yer guts, but I didn't want to see it end this way fer ya. Damn shame this is.  
  
We see The First Slayer in corporeal form behind her briefly. She should appear just like she did in the episode "Restless." A dark skinned almost demonic like cave woman in off-white tattered gauze for clothes.  
  
Kelly spins her head around.  
  
Camera cuts to show no one in the alley with her.  
  
KELLY: Who's dere! Come forward now an' I promise I'll go easy on ya.  
  
Camera shows The First Slayer behind her again. Kelly turns to face it. But it disappears.  
  
KELLY: Ya playin' tricks? I been through a lot this day. Don't try my patience.  
  
Kelly spins around again. This time the First Slayer's upon her. She vaults and tackles Kelly, and they both disappear off screen to Kelly's screams and Slayer's battle cry.  
  
Camera cuts to show Kelly alone, her back to the ground. She's kicking and scratching at the air. After a few seconds, she stops. Her eyes open. They're glowing yellow.  
  
KELLY: (deadly. Evenly.) Faith, I'm gonna kill you.  
  
FAST BLACK. END CREDITS. 


End file.
